Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. My wife and I recently did a SWOT analysis on our marriage. A SWOT analysis is an acronym for analyzing your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. We love nurturing and growing our marriage together. Being on the same page and making decisions together is important to us. It did not always come easy, though, and I’m sure we will face more challenges. Nevertheless, we weren’t always as ONE as we are now. We had always valued our faith as individuals. We had different upbringings on finances. We had family schedules that we had to learn to navigate. We knew that we needed to eat healthy and exercise. What about having fun? We didn’t know how all of these needed to fit together in our marriage. That is where these 5 Factors originated for us. We knew that in order for our marriage to reach its fullest potential, we had to become ONE in every area of our lives. These 5 Factors are not all there is to life, but it’s what we decided is most important to us. It’s how we make decisions together. These factors are not just good ideas. They became a compass for us. Since our Date Night in November 2018 at Olive Garden in Tupelo, MS, almost two and a half years later, we have faced hard times just like everyone else. 2020 was one of the hardest years of our lives. While the world around us changed almost daily, the things that we decided that were most important to us never changed. The 5 Factors are not limitations. They are boundaries. Boundaries create freedom and clarity. How does a team score and win if they don’t know where the boundaries are? It’s no different in marriage. We decided we wanted to win in marriage. Becoming ONE with your spouse doesn’t forfeit your originality. I became more of who I am meant to be when I became ONE with Barbie. We realized that we don’t have control over everything around us. We also realized that we will never change each other. However, we do have control over these 5 Factors. I’m a better husband. Barbie is a better wife. We are better as ONE. The 5 Factors Faith - The best thing I can do for my marriage is fall in love with Jesus. Family - We are better together. Fitness - When we feel good, we fulfill good. Finances - Everything I have is a gift from God. Fun - Don’t just endure life. Enjoy it. In the coming articles, I’ll jump into each of the 5 Factors, their principles, and the practical applications that have blessed our marriage in many ways. For now, go on a date and answer this question: Which one, if it got better, would make the biggest difference? What do you need to start doing? What do you need to stop doing?

I love the local church. God used the local church to save my life. I would not be who I am today if it weren’t for the local church. In my personal experience, I’ve never been more developed in any other place. More than any ball field, weight room, or job training I’ve been to, the local church has taught me invaluable lessons. Here are the top four key lessons that I’ve learned. T he Church is Bigger than I Am. I’ve been saved since I was 8 years old. Since I’ve been a Christian for so long there’s a temptation to feel like the church should play songs and preach messages that I like to hear. I've come to understand that - While the church is FOR me, it’s not ABOUT me. I’ve learned that the local church is all about reaching those who are far from Christ. 2. I’m Saved, but I Still Have Issues. I have accumulated some baggage in this life. Most of that baggage is from bad decisions that were heavily influenced by the PEOPLE I surrounded myself with. The local church has taught me that the RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS move you FORWARD. The WRONG RELATIONSHIPS will keep you STUCK. One of the best ways to find freedom from the baggage of life or from being stuck in bad habits is to surround yourself with the right people. Don’t wait until you need people to connect with them. 3. I’m Uniquely Designed and Have a Purpose. This might shock you. It might offend you. You might agree. You might disagree. Here it goes… I’ve learned through the local church that the Pastor is not the only uniquely gifted person in the local church. God wired you and me uniquely. We are no accident. He gave you and me talents and passions, but if we aren’t using them for God’s purposes and God’s glory, our passions and talents will only be used to gratify and glorify ourselves. That brings me to the fourth key lesson I’ve learned. 4. My Whole Family and I Can Make a Difference. I once heard a pastor s ay it this way, "If you don’t know God, then your whole life will be about finding Him. If you do know God, then your whole life is about making a difference for Him." Don’t get me wrong. God calls us to make a difference outside the four walls of the local church. In my personal experience, however, there’s not a more powerful encounter than when a lost person steps into a local church where all different types of people are serving their hearts out to create a life-giving atmosphere for lost people to find Jesus. If you belong to a church like the one listed above, serve like crazy. If you don’t, let me encourage you to find one. Outside of accepting the free gift of Salvation, it will be the best decision you will ever make. 

My two years of Junior College baseball were fun. I have many memories; some good and some bad. One memory in particular stands out. Go back in time with me, to a spring day in April, in the early innings of game one of a midday doubleheader at Harold T. White field in Booneville, Mississippi. Combine the smell of fresh mowed grass mixed with burgers on the grill, rolled into the sound of metal cleats in the concrete dugouts and the low roar of the crowd and you are right there with me at my position as a second baseman for the Northeast Tigers. The loud speakers that were playing in between innings slowly fades away as the hitter steps into the box. I ready myself on the balls of my feet as our pitcher starts his windup and strides toward the plate. Here’s the pitch. Whack! A ground ball is buzzing across the top of the trimmed infield grass, onto the dirt, rotating at a speed that makes it impossible to pick up the laces on the dingy brown ball. It’s in this moment where “hustle up” and “slow down” are at odds. Every play in baseball sets off a series of others events that lead to one team winning and one team losing. How I handle this one ground ball sets the pace of how I handle the rest of the ones hit in my direction the rest of the game. The runner is halfway down the line as I hustle toward the ball, shuffle my feet, and start to catch it when all of a sudden, out of the dugout I hear my teammates yelling, “SLOW DOWN!” What? Why would I need to slow down? The runner is almost there! The ball is in a race with the runner to first base solely if I get it in the air on time. Don’t I need to Hustle Up? I’ll explain, but let’s finish the play. As my teammates yell for me to slow down, it registers in my mind. Suddenly, it’s almost as if the game just got put into slow motion. I can hear my breath. I can hear the pace of the runners feet hurrying down the first base line. I can see the laces on the ball that was blazing towards me a second before. It bounces into my glove. My momentum has already shifted and my feet are set toward first base. All that’s left is to put this throw right on the money. As the last bit of my fingers release the last bit of leather on the ball, time warps forward. All the sounds rush back in. The crowd seems louder now. I follow through on my throw and lean forward to listen for the sound of the ball hitting the glove before the runners foot touches the base. The first baseman stretches forward in an attempt to meet my throw in hopes to assure the out. The two sounds were almost inseparable. In an instant the umpire points at the bag, and then pumps his fist. “Yea, he’s out!”, he shouts. The play is over. Whew. There’s now one out and two to go. As I jog back to my position, I whisper to myself underneath my breath, “bring on the next one.” I know I went into great detail to explain this play to you. It was only one play in the midst of many other plays. I needed you to go there with me, though. I needed you to see and feel the tension between the hustle up and the slow down. That play, had it gone wrong, could have cost us the game.How? As I mentioned before, how I handled that play was extremely important to how I would handle the rest of the plays in that game. One error has a profound effect on the mentality of an athlete and the morale and of the team. Nothing cuts off momentum like an error on routine ground ball. There were so many moving parts in this play. One play had a major impact on the rest of the game. Life is not much different. Life has many demands; work, marriage, family, kids. What about being a good citizen, a loving neighbor, and a Christian. Where does community service fit? How we handle these crises, responsibilities, passions, and relationships all have an impact on each other. You know you need rest, but you don’t see how it fits. Then it happens. It’s that moment when you didn’t check your calendar. Now, you’re double booked and you’re going to have to choose between your kids kindergarten graduation and a business meeting with a client who’s only night was tonight. What about that date night? The date night you’ve been pushing back because you can “always go next Friday.” We wonder why our marriage doesn’t have the same “passion” it once had. Now our spouses are wondering if we still love them. Since when did it get easier to quit your marriage than it did to clear your calendar? Lastly, what about prayer? When was the last time you stopped long enough to sit still, stop scrolling, and consuming content to just be in God’s presence. I wanted to use this play to break down how we handle life; opportunities, problems, relationships. All these and more are thrown our way on any given day. Life is bouncy and fast paced; a lot like that ground ball that was hit toward me. It’s hard to get a good look at it when our pace is so fast. Couple our personal fast-paced lives with social media and news outlets and now you get an instant look into the rest of the worlds sufferings, problems, and relationships. What do we do? In an attempt to be helpful, good Christian people, we pick up our pace up and chalk ourselves up as hard workers. We are “making a difference” after all, right? Now our ego is involved. I’ve heard it said that ego stands for “Edging God Out.” That’s not far off, considering how few people are not too busy to read the Bible and pray. I get it. I’m just as guilty. I f we can break the bad habit, if we can slow down and bring our attention back to the fundamentals, we might be far more effective, no matter what is hit our way. Consider me as your teammate in the dugout screaming “SLOW DOWN!” I understand your objections. “I’m a hard worker. I run circles around people. I gotta grind. Hustle. Push. Strive. Optimize.” Go back and read that sentence and tell me if you can read it slowly. My heart rate elevates just reading those words. No wo nder we are tired. Here’s the bottom line: Outworking others doesn’t matter if you’re overworking yourself. Until next time, take a day off from the gym. Take a nap. Drive the speed limit, for Pete’s sake. Take a deep breath… and SLOW DOWN. I dare you.